Yet Another List of MLB All-Star Game Snubs

By Morgan Payne and Chris Hanneke

It’s that time of the year again. The time when fans and inane selection rules influence the most important series of the baseball season. We won’t delve into the idiocy of the All-Star Game, but rather present a list of the annual All-Star snubs.

Morgan took the National League, Chris took the American League. But we peppered in some notes to help each other out.

National League

Andrew McCutchen (.291 average, 12 homeruns, 46 RBI) – The dark horse MVP candidate has to be the most glaring omission. He is the catalyst of a Pirates team that nobody expected to be anywhere near first place. Yet here we are halfway through July and McCutchen has willed the Bucos to a 45-41 record, only 1.5 games out of first place. There is really no way to overstate his importance. It is easy to make the argument that his numbers would be even more impressive if he weren’t bounced around the lineup so much. He has split at-bats between the leadoff spot and three hole all year. And now Clint Hurdle has moved him to cleanup in hopes of giving him more RBI chances. All that shuffling requires extreme concentration and the unique ability to change mental strategies. Add in his game changing speed and the fact that he is playing Gold Glove caliber defensive in centerfield and its obvious Hurdle was absolutely correct when he quipped, “That's an absolute whiff. If you're looking to put your ballclub together, and a guy who can come off the bench and do some things, the numbers he has -- you can look at metrics, you can look at straight batting average, you can look at OPS, stolen bases -- he's an All-Star.”

Tommy Hanson (10 wins, 2.52 ERA, 103K’s) – Hanson has literally been the most unhittable starter in the league. His microscopic .192 BAA is more than ten points better than the next closest hurler in the NL. As a baseball fan he is one of the most enjoyable pitchers to watch. His imposing size and effortless approach to the plate lulls hitters to sleep until he blows them away with pinpoint 95 mph heat or buckles their knees with a devastating hook. You could call him the anti-Andy Dalton. Nobody cites his fiery red hair as a reason to doubt his prowess.

Carlos Gonzalez (.296 average, 13 homeruns, 51 RBI) – Hype, hype, hype. That’s usually how players get into the All-Star game. Apparently Cargo used up all his hype last year en-route to a near Triple Crown. The combination of playing on a mediocre team and a brutally slow start seems to have erased Gonzalez from the collective baseball consciousness. However, up until his minor injury a couple days ago he was on an absolute tear. Since June 1 he is hitting at a torrid .361 clip with 18 RBI from the leadoff spot. His perplexing lack of national attention is now his sole Achilles heel. There are not too many arguments for leaving off a legitimate five tool player in the prime of his career off the team.

Best of the Rest (Michael Bourn, Jhoulys Chacin, Shaun Marcum, Shane Victorino, Todd Helton) – These guys aren’t actually snubs, but they all have some compelling angle that at least warrants consideration. Bourn has unparalleled speed that would certainly be useful in a late game situation (CHRIS NOTE: Michael Bourn is the most electrifying player in Major League Baseball. He leads the majors in stolen bases and is third in the NL in runs scored at the top of a lineup that, except for All-Star Hunter Pence, sucks. Not to mention he is the best defensive outfielder in baseball and probably the best since Jim Edmonds in his prime. So I'd say he is ACTUALLY a snub, Morgan Payne. If that's not enough, he is the star player and inspiration for the ninth place (out of 10) fantasy baseball juggernaut "Bourn to Run." Not putting him in the All-Star Game is a more pathetic decision than letting Casey Anthony walk). Chacin and Marcum have quietly put together very good campaigns with their strikeout ability. Victorino is a multi-dimensional hitter and plus outfielder. Helton is really only included because everyone likes to give out the proverbial Lifetime Achievement Award.

American League

Paul Konerko (.324 average, 22 homeruns, 64 RBI) - I, like most other normal people, didn't watch the selection show. I hadn't even seen the rosters and instead heard the "Baseball Tonight" crying about snubs before I ever even saw the rosters. When they showed Konerko's numbers, I was shocked he didn't get in, almost outraged even. I thought it was the biggest snub in All-Star Game history. Then I saw Mark Teixeira and Adrian Gonzalez ahead of him and cooled down a bit, as both of those guys are deserving selections. But then I looked further and saw that Miguel Cabrera made it over him, and I got pissed off.

This is the reason why I can't take the All-Star Game seriously and think it is the most idiotic rule in sports history that the game decides homefield advantage for the World Series. Seriously, Konerko has a better average than Cabrera (.324 to .321, almost identical but still), more homeruns (22 to 17) and more RBI (64 to 56). Cabrera edges him in advanced metrics with an admittedly impressive 1.001 OPS to Konerko's .973, but Konerko still slugged at a higher clip (.579 to .561). Also, with all of these decimals, now would be the time to make the obligatory Miguel Cabrera BAC joke. Still, basically, Paul Konerko hit better, drove in more runs, got more extra base hits and homeruns, but walked a bit less, so Cabrera goes ahead of him. How does any of this make sense, and why does this game matter again?

Of course, the MLB offers a final vote, and Konerko is currently leading. Only, that would give the AL four first basemen in a game that cannot use a DH, which wouldn't be a big deal if the game was just for fun, you know, the way All-Star Games are supposed to be.

C.C. Sabathia (12 wins, 2.90 ERA, 117 K's) - I'm not one of those people that hates everyone for using advanced statistics. I think they are absolutely necessary to building a championship-caliber team. Unfortunately, Sabathia is one of those guys that advanced statisticians do not particularly like. He logs a bunch of innings and wins games, but that's not enough for them.

Morgan wrote a great piece for the Vista at the end of last season basically justifying why Sabathia should have won Cy Young over Felix Hernandez, and many of his points dealt with this exact issue. And you know what, even though I only partially agreed with him in regards to that debate, I think the issues he raised are absolutely applicable to his All-Star candidacy. He is the ace on a pitching staff for the most famous baseball team in the world, for a staff that had question marks all over it coming into the season. He has been the anchor and helped the Yankees live up to their always-high expectations. He is third in the AL in innings pitched, a stat that is probably the most underrated in all of baseball. You can't underestimate the pressure it takes off not just the bullpen, but the manager and even the lineup when a guy can consistently give you six or more solid innings a night.

There may be more deserving pitchers that did get voted in, especially when taking advanced metrics into consideration, but if you ask me, the league-leader in wins should always have a spot at the Midsummer Classic.

Jhonny Peralta (.311 average, 14 homeruns, 49 RBI) - There were others that I'll mention in the "Best of the Rest" section, but I needed space to bitch about Derek Jeter making the All-Star team. My issue with Jeter making the All-Star team goes back again to the fact that this game actually means something. If this were, say the NBA (oh wait, I could have used literally ANY other sport as an example because NO ONE else is dumb enough to make the All-Star Game matter this much), I wouldn't care so much that the fans are stupid and voted Jeter in just because of his prestige. The All-Star Game should be a fun experience for the fans to watch the biggest stars in the game, and Jeter, though an atrocity of a baseball player at this juncture in his career, is still a star.

But this game is for homefield advantage in the World Series, something that will have an effect, even if not a major one, on who is ultimately crowned World Champion. For that reason, you simply can't allow a washed-up infielder in the starting lineup. The NL already knows it has an easy groundout at some point in the lineup.

Peralta has been, almost undisputedly, the best offensive shortstop in the AL. His line is listed above, but what isn't listed is his equally impressive .904 OPS, and the fact that he has been a major part in keeping the Tigers just a game and half back of the Indians for first-place in the AL Central. Asdrubal Cabrera was a worthy selection to back up Jeter, but it's pretty obvious to anyone that doesn't have a Derek Jeter tattoo that Peralta should be there too, over the washed-up Yankees legend.

Best of the Rest (Alex Gordon, Adam Jones, Ben Zobrist, Dan Haren, Dustin PEDroia) - These are all guys that fit into that category I was talking about earlier. They certainly have a case for being there, but there are only so many spots, and people will get screwed over every year. Their cases weren't compelling enough to warrant their own individual paragraphs, but at least I'm doing them the courtesy of writing their name on this snub list, of which they have probably appeared on about 4,567 all across the Internet.

Deep down, they probably couldn't care less. Sure, they don't get to take part in the parade and wear an awesome outfit while rifling party favors at the screaming fans (I'm being serious, I've been to the last two All-Star Games, went to both parades and was entirely too envious that they got to sit in the cars and wear awesome outfits). But there has to be part of them that is relieved as all holy hell that they get to just go home, avoid all of the shitty Arizona desert heat and annoying protesters of the immigration law, sit back on their multi-thousand dollar couch and laugh at the poor bastards that didn't get snubbed.

We'll do the same, on our Craigslist couches of course.

The Plagiarist's Guide to the NBA Draft

By Chris Hanneke

I know hardly anything about this year's draft. This stems mostly from the fact that I don’t follow college basketball closely at all (What do you expect from me? My school’s claim to fame is a betting scandal). On top of that, it seemed like one in three guys drafted this year was European anyway.

But this blog needs to at least address the fact that the draft happened. Sure, we ignored the US Open, and sure we will more than likely ignore the Women’s World Cup, but the NBA Draft is a bigger deal, and by that I mean it’s a sport we actually care about. Thankfully, since this is the 21st century, I don’t need to follow college basketball or EuroLeague or whatever the hell they call it, because I can just read the Internet and pretend I have a clue what to expect from these guys, even though I really don’t. So without further ado, I’m going to break down the NBA Draft based on what I have read and how I would pretend to express that knowledge in public discourse, and then I will add in what I really think about the pick, even though that will hold little to no weight because, again, I really have no idea what the hell I’m talking about.

Pick No. 1.) Kyrie Irving (Duke)- Cleveland Cavaliers

What They’re Saying: Best point guard in the draft, drafted by a team that needed to rebuild its franchise around someone. In a weak draft class, Irving was regarded as one of the few players you could try and build a franchise around.

What I Think: In regards to Irving, I can’t say I’ve ever watched him play a single second of basketball in my life. But he is being asked to be the face of a franchise that is still recovering from the most public breakup in the history of sports, and maybe even the history of the world, at least since Rachel dumped Ross the first time. I wouldn’t be comfortable with anyone being put in that situation, so I’m hesitant to throw my support behind this one.

As for what I want to happen, I hope he fails miserably. I hope Cleveland never again comes close to contending. They will always be known as The Team That Lebron Bailed On, and I love that. It’s way more fun to look at Cleveland and just laugh at how absolutely awful things turned for them since he left. I want to hate them for being so bitter, but I can’t even blame them. What else are they supposed to do? It’s Cleveland! The worst thing that could happen to us is if they rebuilt their franchise and found happiness again, because then we would have to believe that we could all just move on when things got shitty. No, I much prefer a world where we can sit and dwell on how great things used to be, and for that reason, I want nothing more than for Irving to be a colossal failure. Sorry Cleveland, but it’s too fun feeling sorry for you.

Pick No. 2.) Derrick Williams (Arizona)- Minnesota Timberwolves

What They’re Saying: Could have gone No. 1. Probably the most NBA-ready player in the draft. Should work nicely with Kevin Love and the new (but really kind of old, but also really young) Ricky Rubio, but how he works with Michael Beasley is yet to be seen.

What I Think: I actually watched him a few times during this past season because my brother goes to the University of Arizona and told me to check him out. I was impressed. And I know it’s trendy to pick on David Kahn, the ‘Wolves GM, and he has certainly had his misgivings, but he was on the B.S. Report this past weekend and I was equally impressed with him. He was the first to admit his mistakes and he spoke candidly about his vision for this team going forward. I think the Rubio-Love-Williams-Beasley combo could be a lot of fun to watch, especially since Kahn said he wanted to get into an offense that could run the floor and bring excitement to Minnesota basketball, and I think this pick gives them the chance to do that.

Pick No. 3.) Enes Kanter (Kentucky)- Utah Jazz

What They’re Saying: Big center with a lot of potential for the new-look Utah Jazz.

What I Think: This is another guy I had no familiarity with. Actually, from this point forward, let’s assume I had no idea who they were unless I otherwise specify. He seems big, and I trust a player that played for Calipari to be more NBA-ready than some of the other prospects because he has a proven track record, and because they are probably accustomed to playing for money already, Hey oh! But seriously, they need another big body and he’s listed at 6-foot-11, so it works for me.

Pick No. 4.) Tristan Thompson (Texas)- Cleveland Cavaliers

What They’re Saying: A surprise pick this early, Thompson is listed as a power forward but may play more small forward for the Cavs. Not a very good scorer, not a very good pick.

What I Think: Again, I don’t care, just as long as he fails miserably and I can continue to feel sorry for Cleveland and laugh at their incompetence.

The Cavs are like that guy you still hang out with from time to time that had a girlfriend all throughout high school, only she went off to college and decided she liked Filipino dudes and dumped him, so now he spends every single night drinking way too much and dwelling on how much his ex screwed him over. Even worse, he justifies every awful hookup he has had since then. You know deep down that his ex is going to end up far better off than him, and though you want to see him happy some day, part of you is just enjoying his depression for the time being because it means you are more than likely going to end up with the good-looking friend of the ugly one he takes home at night. And yes, all of that was just a way of saying that Lebron James likes Filipino dudes. Run with that one, Internet.

Pick No. 5.) Jonas Valanciunas (Lithuania)- Toronto Raptors

What They’re Saying: Won’t play in the NBA until at least next season, but he’s only 19 so he has a lot of potential to become an effective NBA center.

What I Think: It’s Toronto. Why do they even have basketball? Let’s make a trade. Toronto gets a second hockey team, let’s say the Panthers, and then we’ll take the Raptors and put a team back in Seattle. I know, technically Miami should be getting something in return, but let’s be honest, they can’t even support the most popular team in the NBA, I don’t think they’ll miss a crappy NHL franchise no one cares about. Maybe Seattle can give Miamians (??? couldn't even find the real term on Google) some coffee as a thank-you. Or a basement where they can shoot up illegal black tar heroin. Either way.

As for Valanciunas? I’m skeptical of any European that doesn’t want to/can’t come over right away. But hey, like I said, it’s Toronto, so I won’t be following what happens to him there anyway.

Pick No. 6.) Jan Vesley (Serbia)- Washington Wizards

What They’re Saying: Maybe the best athlete in the draft. A steal for the Wizards, especially since they desperately needed a small forward. Simmons loved the pick, and thinks it makes Washington one of the most exciting teams in the league.

What I Think: First, I have to comment on the kiss. Just a great moment, one of those moments that’s so entertaining that you don’t feel guilty for watching something as dumb as a draft, in which the majority of the time is spent sitting around a conjuring up bull shit. Great kiss, good looking girl, the guy is already a winner.

And second, anyone that can dunk like this is fine with me.

Pick No. 7.) Bismack Biyombo (Deomcratic Republic of Congo)- Sacramento Kings (traded to Charlotte Bobcats)

What They’re Saying: Questions of his real age, but he had an impressive showing at the Portland Nike Hoops Summit earlier this summer, and though there are tons of questions surrounding how legit he actually can be in this league, he gives Charlotte much-needed size.

What I Think: I’m like everyone else, I don’t care what happens, I just hope he stays in this league long enough that I can yell Bismack a lot whenever he does something cool.

But, I also would like to see Michael Jordan fail as GM. I don’t really enjoy MJ’s win-at-all costs attitude that everyone seems to be so in love with, and I would enjoy watching him continue to suck at building a team in Charlotte, then panicking and moving to be GM of a much more established franchise, like his Chicago Bulls. The irony would be delicious, and for that reason, I hope Bismack doesn’t go over so well.

Plus, I can't live in a world in which Serge Ibaka isn't the best African player in the league.

Pick No. 8.) Brandon Knight (Kentucky)- Detroit Pistons

What They’re Saying: Detroit needed a point guard for the future, and Knight was believed by many to be just a shade behind Irving. He's expected to get plenty of minutes right away, and could give the Pistons a fresh spark on offense.

What I Think: Well, I already made my Calipari joke about Kentucky players getting paid, and seeing as that's the only college material I have besides Rick Pitino abortion jokes, I guess I'll just leave this section blank and say I don't have much of an opinion here other than I really like doing the John Wall whenever I dance, so Knight better bring something new to the table or my Kentucky point guard allegiances will forever lie with Wall.

Pick No. 9.) Kemba Walker (Connecticut)- Charlotte Bobcats

What They’re Saying: Heart, heart heart, Kemba Walker has so much heart.

What I Think: Wait, I forgot I still haven't used up my "UConn will have to give up their National Championship in three years anyway" jokes!! Thanks Kemba.

I've written in the past that I'm a buzzkill and I don't particularly enjoy March Madness anymore, but the one thing that I did enjoy about this year was Kemba Walker. I typically hate when everyone uses the "He has so much heart" description, but my goodness was he fun to watch, and it just may work in his case. We watch sports because we like to see guys leave everything they have on the floor (even though I sort of argued against that in my Lebron piece), and Walker did that during the Tourney. He may not be the best guy in the league, but anyone that can handle the pressure of playing on college basketball's biggest stage and not shy away is certain to at least be somewhat effective at the pro level.

Still, he's on Charlotte, and as I said in regards to Bismack, I want to see MJ fail, so I hope Walker gets traded.

Pick No. 10.) Jimmer Freddette (BYU)- Milwaukee Bucks (traded to Sacramento Kings)

What They're Saying: He's going to be anything from a poor man's Stephen Curry (not bad, but still not great) to a poor man's Adam Morrison (incredibly bad).

What I Think: Jimmer!!! I had the privilege of watching him absolutely dismantle UNLV over my winter break this year. I hate BYU. I hate everything that school stands for, I hate how hypocritical they were in their handling of the Brandon Davies situation, I just think it's a pretentious university.

And yet, for some reason, the more I watched Jimmer, the more I wanted him to succeed. There's something fun about a guy that jacks up awful shots that always seem to go in. I initially thought he could be on the poor man's Steph Curry level, but that was before I realized he plays even less defense than Curry (hard to do) and is far more careless with the ball. Still, if you can score from the range that Fredette has shown he can score from, I think there's always a spot on an NBA roster for you.

And if the Maloofs continue to lose money and are forced to move/sell the team, I hope that they move to Las Vegas, even though there is about a 0.7 percent chance of that actually happening. I'd buy a Jimmer jersey.

(Side note: If the Kings would miraculously end up in Vegas, how perfect of a name would the Kingpins be. You maintain your history, sort of, with the King side of it, and you also incorporate all of the old-time mobster/gambling elements that have made Vegas so famous. That name itself has me even more excited about the pipe dream of an NBA team in Vegas. We should start a Facebook group.)

Pick No. 11.) Klay Thompson (Washington State)- Golden State Warriors

What They’re Saying: I got our good friend Albert Samaha (who is currently writing about much more important things at a much more legitimate publication because he is a much better writer than all of us) who is the biggest (re: only) Golden State Warriors fan I know. His thoughts:

The moderately useful website nbadraft.net says that Klay Thompson's NBA comparison is Marco Belinelli, which is concerning for several obvious reasons. It's a poor and confusing parallel, to be sure, but it also reminds Golden State fans to never get excited about a draft pick. But this was a good pick.

Strengths: shooting ability, height, allegedly improved defense since we last saw him play three months ago.

Must Improve: hiding-weed-in-car-ability. No worries though. He and Tim Lincecum can work on this together.

I'm actually much more excited about the Jeremy Tyler pick, for reasons that have nothing to do with Jeremy Tyler. You see, Golden State bought- Bought!- that pick from Charlotte for $2 million. Lacob and Riley and West probably didn't even want him. They just wanted to flaunt their willingness to spend, like the billionaire with the rare bird collection. Basically they were telling Warrior fans, “The Cohan era is over! New management in town and we care about winning!” Maybe the Thompson pick means Monta will be traded, and if that happens it would be the third time in five years that the team gets rid of a player they intended to build around (Baron and J-Rich are the other two). But the new and improved front office has earned the benefit of the doubt and everybody is just happy Cohan is gone.

What I Think: I’ve learned a lot in my time writing for The Vista, but one of the most important things I learned early on was that if Albert Samaha writes it, it’s probably right (unless it's about Tim Lincecum being the best pitcher in baseball or the Oakland Raiders being a legitimate NFL franchise, but we'll ignore that). Great work as always Albert, I'll take your word for it on this one.

Pick No. 12.) Alec Burks (Colorado)- Utah Jazz

What They're Saying: Average scorer, poor defender, exactly what you'd expect from No. 12 in this year's draft. Gives the Jazz some depth at the shooting guard position.

What I Think: Now we're getting into the really crappy part of the draft. I went from having a faint idea who some of these guys were to having never heard of them in my life until David Stern called their name from the podium. What I do know: A guy named Alec Burks could only fit in in one place in the United States of America: Utah.

Picks No. 13 and No. 14.) Markieff Morris (Kansas)- Phoenix Suns and Marcus Morris (Kansas)- Houston Rockets

What They're Saying: Markieff may have a chance to crack the starting rotation in Phoenix. Marcus is a four that can play the three.

What I Think: I lumped the two of them together because I'm a twin and that's all anyone ever does to us, so I figure I may as well treat the rest of the twins out there the same way.

If they're anything like the Lopez brothers, one will be underwhelming, and the other will be extremely underwhelming. This draft is starting to suck.

Pick No. 15.) Kawhi Leonard (San Diego State)- Indiana Pacers (traded to San Antonio)

What They're Saying: He's got big hands, and most were surprised he slipped this low. He gives San Antonio some help on the boards, which is really what they needed most. With the energy he will bring off the bench, San Antonio may be able to make one last run at it before the Tim Duncan era comes to an end.

What I Think: He went to the San Diego school that people actually know about on a national level, and I resent him for that. I watched him play a few times, both against UNLV and USD. He certainly was good at getting boards, but he was not very impressive as a scorer. Still, I think this is one of those cases where only one team could have helped him reach his full potential, and he ended up there in San Antonio. They won't need much scoring from him, but he can learn from probably the greatest power forward of all time, something that will obviously benefit him the long run. God I hate that the Spurs always end up getting exactly the guy they need.

I have OKC and San Antonio in the Western Conference Finals next year, and Leonard is just important enough to them that I am officially scared the Spurs may get one last hurrah. Gross.

Pick No. 16.) Nikola Vucevic (USC)- Philadelphia 76ers

What They're Saying: For the "they" in this case, I'll turn to what I recall from the one time I watched the Arizona-USC game this season with my brother. I don't recall the exact conversation, but if I were to paraphrase, he essentially said "Vucevic is a giant p---y that whines a lot and isn't even that great." And as I watched, I couldn't have agreed more. (I texted him to get a second opinion, and all he said was "He's alright. He's pretty soft like all Europeans." So yeah, we'll stick with the whole "he's a p---y thing").

What I think: I don't often agree with my brother, but he was spot-on there. But hey, I guess anything is an improvement over Spencer Hawes.

Pick No. 17.) Iman Shumpert (Georgia Tech)- New York Knicks

What They're Saying: The surprise of the draft in that no one expected the Knicks to take Shumpert, because he really isn't all that great.

What I think: Iman Shumpert, huh? Whatever, this pick means nothing to the Knicks since Chris Paul will sign there next year and they'll be competing with the Heat for the next nine Eastern Conference Finals.

Pick No. 18.) Chris Singleton (Florida State)- Washington Wizards

What They're Saying: They needed a small forward and they already took Vesley, but they took another here just in case. Singleton was considered one of the top defenders in the draft, and could help a shaky Wizards defense.

What I Think: He sounds like a baseball player. And this is running too long now. And I already talked about the Wizards.

Pick No. 19.) Tobias Harris (Tennessee)- Charlotte Bobcats (traded to Milwaukee Bucks)

What They're Saying: This draft is so bad that people were already so bored by this point that they had very little to say about Harris in general.

What I Think: I can't read the name "Tobias" and not think of Arrested Development. I hope this Tobias wears short cutoff jean shorts during his postgame showers.

Pick No. 20.) Donatas Montejunas (Lithuania)- Minnesota Timberwolves (traded to Houston Rockets)

What They're Saying: Big 7-footer with minimal expectations, like everyone else not in the top 2 from this draft.

What I Think: Why would anyone believe a 7-foot European with a weird name could amount to anything?

Pick No. 21.) Nolan Smith (Duke)- Portland Trail Blazers

What They're Saying: Few expected him to go in the first round, and since Portland acquired Raymond Felton later on in the evening, Smith isn't likely to see much time.

What I Think: A black guy from Duke, huh? I wonder what Jalen Rose thinks?

Pick No. 22.) Kenneth Faried (Morehead State)- Denver Nuggets

What They're Saying: I turned to Denver Nuggets correspondent/J.R. Smith shrine-builder Morgan Payne for this one:

Dennis Rodman minus the eccentricity and off-court drama seems to be the popular comparison for Kenneth Faried. The way people have been talking about him in Colorado you would think he is actually more like the dreadlocked lovechild of Dennis Rodman, Bill Russell and Kevin Garnett. There is no way he can live up to the hype, but I couldn’t care less. All he will be asked to do is play defense, grab boards and hustle. The kid was born for this role; there is no way he will fail.

I am not alone in my adoration as my unbridled optimism is shared by nearly every analyst and assuredly every single Nuggets fan. And that’s why I am actually a little scared. Most of the people that are raving about him so much probably don’t even know much about him. They just want to be able to say they were the ones that predicted the unknown kid from Morehead State was going to be a beast. This perpetuating hype machine seems to be a classic indicator of future failure, but I refuse to believe it. Overall, I anticipate him being similar to a more defensive- minded DeJuan Blair. A perfect fit for a Denver team with a desperate need for rebounding and interior defense.

What I Think: As I texted Morgan after the Denver made the pick, leave it to the Thuggets to pick the guy that already has a kid.

But seriously, I actually really like Faried as well. Simmons is a big proponent of this, and I 100 percent agree with him that, rebounding is one of those skills that translates quite well to the pros. It's not like a lot of the other smaller things that GM's fret over; if you can rebound in college, chances are you can rebound in the NBA.

After watching the OKC-Denver first round match up, it was clear that the Nuggets needed help inside. Denver was able to keep up with the Thunder's young guns, but it was in the inside where Serge Ibaka was able to assert himself on the offensive end and grab seemingly every offensive rebound that came his way, and he and Perkins also had a field day blocking shots left and right. Faried's big body will keep the opponent's bigs from clogging up the middle so easily, allowing guys like Ty Lawson to more effectively penetrate and kick the ball out to the 3-point line where the Nuggets are one of the scariest teams in the league. I like the pick so much that I don't think the Thunder have the Northwest Division wrapped up as easily as some may think.

Of course, as Morgan said, all of this hype means he's almost guaranteed to fail, and maybe that's my plan all along.

Pick No. 23.) Nikola Mirotic (Montenegro)- Houston Rockets (traded to Minnesota Timberwolves)

What They're Saying: He can''t even play in the NBA for another four years. No one even bothered pretending they gave a shit at this point. We'll worry about it in four years.

What I Think: I hope for Kevin Love's sake he's not still in Minnesota in four years (even though I said things may be looking up), but if he is, not a chance Mirotic ever cracks the starting rotation.

Pick No. 24.) Reggie Jackson (Boston College)- Oklahoma City Thunder

What They're Saying: A somewhat surprising pick because Jackson didn't work out for anyone the entire time leading up to the draft and there were rumors that he already had a verbal agreement with OKC long before the actual draft day. As a player, some see him as being along the same lines as Russell Westbrook, in that he is very gifted athletically for the point guard position. With the new collective bargaining agreement, chances are the team will have to part ways with Eric Maynor, so this gives them another option behind their All-Star Westbrook.

What I Think: For anyone that doesn't know, I jumped on the Thunder bandwagon at the end of the '09-'10 season and followed them more closely this past season than any sports team I've ever followed in my life. So I have a lot of thoughts on this pick.

To start, the pick wasn't all that important to begin with. I initially wanted them to take Jordan Hamilton when he was still available because I wanted Kevin Durant to have another Texas buddy, and I also would have liked to see them take Jimmy Butler, this year's feel-good story. But in the end, the eight-man rotation that took the team to the Western Conference Finals remains the same, so this pick was made more just to add depth. Though many dislike Westbrook's style of play, I actually think it fits this team perfectly, and though Jackson is unlikely to ever become as dangerous as Westbrook has been, I like the thinking behind the pick. GM Sam Presti hardly ever misses, and he has more than earned the trust of his fans at this point, so there's no reason not to think he knew what he was doing here.

But as a side note, what are the chances of another guy named Reggie Jackson actually being a famous athlete? Are there rules against how many people with a certain name can be world-class athletes? I think there has to be some kind of karma working against him. Also, is it really a good thing when every time you mention your player, you always will be forced to answer the question: "Not THAT Reggie Jackson, right?" If there was ever a guy that needed a nickname, it's this guy. I was initially joking around on Twitter calling THIS Reggie Jackson "Mr. October" (I know, so original, right?), but the more I've thought about it, his real nickname may need to be something more practical to start out, like "The Oklahoma City Reggie Jackson" just to distinguish him from his more famous, far more accomplished MLB Hall of Fame counterpart. Maybe something better will come along as the season plays out, but for now, The Oklahoma City Reggie Jackson will have to be happy with what I've come up with.

Pick No. 25.) Marshon Brooks (Providence)- Boston Celtics (traded to New Jersey Nets)

What They're Saying: The No. 2 scorer in the nation last year, Brooks brings a lot of firepower to a Nets team that is hoping to be competitive enough to keep Deron Williams from fleeing.

What I Think: It's so hard to guess if a guy that was such a great scorer in college can be even half as effective as a pro. One team may end up with a Steph Curry while the other will end up with an Adam Morrison. I'll guess this guy doesn't have nearly as high of expectations as Morrsion, so maybe he can be effective enough.

Pick No. 26.) Jordan Hamilton (Texas)- Dallas Mavericks (traded to Portland Trail Blazers)

What They're Saying: Royce Young, the Daily Thunder blogger that I follow on Twitter really liked this guy. And I really like Royce Young so I decided I would really like this guy. Strong build with great range and an impressive scoring pedigree.

What I Think: I checked out the "moderately useful website nbadraft.net" that Samaha referenced, and they said his most likely NBA comparison is Cedric Ceballos. I didn't follow the NBA much during Ceballos' time in the league, but this clip of him rapping recently found its way on Deadspin (and Samaha's Twitter feed), and while it may not be difficult to live up to Cedric Ceballos on the court, I'm willing to bet Hamilton won't be able to rap nearly as well as Ceballos did on that track. As TJ Lavin would say, "He killed it."

Pick No. 27.) JuJuan Johnson (Purdue)- New Jersey Nets (traded to Boston Celtics)

What They're Saying: Since this is Simmons' team, we'll see what he had to say. "I kinda don't like [him]." That's literally all he wrote about Johnson in his draft diary. Hey, Simmons word is Bible on this blog (minus his crap about Dirk's "moment"), so if he doesn't like the pick, neither do we.

What I Think: What Simmons said.

Pick No. 28) Norris Cole (Cleveland State)- Chicago Bulls (traded to Miami Heat)

What They're Saying: Miami wanted another point guard to further challenge Chalmers, but Cole is by most accounts just an average point guard.

What I Think: Anything beats Mike Bibby.

Pick No. 29.) Cory Joseph (Texas)- San Antonio Spurs

What They're Saying: Wasn't supposed to get drafted until mid-to-late second round, but San Antonio got him anyway since they already shipped off one of their point guards, George Hill, earlier in the night.

What I Think: I already expressed my feelings for San Antonio in the Leonard pick. But I'm sure whatever excitement Joseph brings to the table will be beaten to death by the boring, fundamental style that infects Spurs basketball. And he'll probably be good as a result. Also gross.

Pick No. 30.) Jimmy Butler (Marquette)- Chicago Bulls

What They're Saying: He's the feel good story of the draft.

What I Think: How can you not love that story? You're damn right I hope he pans out.


And that's it. This took far longer than I expected, but I hope this blog will still be kicking next year so I can do it all over again. Hopefully The Oklahoma City Reggie Jackson will have a ring by then, too.

Going at the Flag

By Joey Shoen

Last weekend, I had the privilege of going to Flagstaff to help referee games for the NAU Basketball Team Camp. I will be attending NAU in the fall and will be a Graduate Assistant under head coach Mike “Ace” Adras, a close family friend. I figured that going up there a couple of months early would be a good way to make a little money and meet some of the players and staff. I had a blast, but I also ran into a few bumps along the road. Here are some of the highlights and lowlights of my trip:

HIGHLIGHTS

1. The Squad

I couldn’t have been treated better by the members of the basketball program. Ace allowed me to stay at his house and even microwaved me a wonderful pork chop/hamburger meal on my last night in town. Will and Jay, the assistant coaches, were more than willing to help whenever I had questions during the day and got me tanked at night. Jay didn’t even seem to take it personally when I called him Tony for the first 24 hours I met him, although he was much more responsive to me when he knew who I was talking to. The six or seven players from the team were all great guys and made me feel like a part of the group. One of them even told me that I had “swag”, to which I responded “Bitch you betta recognize!” (Alright, we’re not that tight yet, but the swag thing is actually true). It was a far cry from my interactions with the members of the USD hoops team, which were few and far between. With the exception of a few friends I had on the Torero roster, all the other guys walked around campus with a serious chip on their shoulder. I mean I can understand being pissed that our 17-point loss to Pepperdine wasn’t the lead on Sportscenter, but when you’re 6-24, you should be kissing the diving team’s asses.

2. Raz-Ball

I had heard myths about Flagstaff, but I had to see it to believe it- there was actually a school from an Indian reservation that brought both a varsity and a JV team down. They weren’t half bad, either. The varsity team was coached by a 5’10”, 300 lb man in his sixties and the JV was headed by his wife and one of her co-stars on The Real Housewives of the Navajo Empire. I wasn’t sure how authentic these teams were until the varsity coach yelled at his small forward Tiger Lips for not getting back on defense. True story. For the first day, I couldn’t figure out why they spent the twenty minutes before each game huddled around a tree outside the gym, but then I realized they were looking to Grandmother Willow for advice. Not a true story.

3. Flagstaff Nightlife

I was pleasantly surprised by the bar scene in downtown Flagstaff. There were four or five bars along one street that were packed on both Friday and Saturday nights even without school being in session. It will never be Mission Beach, but then again it’s not like I had a ton of success pulling chicks out there. I’m ready for a change! “Mom, I’d like you to meet my future wife, Dances With Tiger Lips.”

4. Cute Team Moms

Now I refereed each and every game with complete integrity, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t get to know some of the fans in the stands a little better than others. Were they perhaps more attractive than the ones I refrained from introducing myself to? Maybe, but I was a busy man and couldn’t have possibly gotten to know the entire city of Flagstaff. Were some of my calls influenced a little bit if I was standing on the side of the court closest to them? Not that it’s any of your business, but, yes. It’s summer basketball for crying out loud, and raising a young hoopster on your own is not something any mother should have to go through. I’m a giver damnit.

Lowlights

1. My Weekend Nickname

By the time I got to Flagstaff, it had been awhile since I had visited my local Supercuts and my hair was getting a little long. I also didn’t have time to dust off the L.A. Looks and get my ‘do looking fresh, so I wasn’t looking my best. An assistant coach from Prescott High School decided on the first day that he should point out to Ace and I that I looked “exactly” like Conan O’ Brien. Never mind the fact his varsity and JV teams went a combined 0-132 on the weekend and every player on his team looked like the kid from Two and a Half Men, because why would a coach worry about that? No, he’s playing the look-a-like game while his starting point guard and center are reading Twilight in their pregame layup lines. Ace thought this was hilarious and proceeded to tell practically everyone in the camp, including his assistant coaches and players. They pulled up a picture of Conan on their computer, and they all thought the coach was dead on. I was Conan for the next three days. Let me tell you two things: 1. I am a little sensitive to the whole “Conan” thing. I have been likened to him once before, and it was by a 78-year-old woman in a jacuzzi. I didn’t like it then, and I don’t like it now. 2. I am much, much cuter than Conan O’Brien. My mom even says so, and for most of the players on the Prescott team, so did their mothers.

2. Hangovers

Like most warm-blooded Americans not named Jimmer, I like to enjoy a few cocktails every once in a while. On a Friday night in Flagstaff as my ability to handle said cocktails is being questioned by an assistant coach from Albuquerque, it is my duty to defend my family’s honor and get shithoused. Mission accomplished. Unfortunately, I’m used to sleeping in way past Regis and Kelly after a night of drinking. That was not an option last weekend, and I quickly realized how loud your own whistle can be at 8 AM the next morning. After working until 9:30 at night on Saturday on three hours of sleep, I naturally made the wise decision to do it all again. This is where the surprisingly fun Flagstaff bar scene was both a blessing and a curse. Luckily, Sunday we only worked half-day and I was able to catch a loose ball off my nose in the first half of the first game to wake me up. I have slept an average of 13.5 hours a night since.

3. Finding a Cab in Flagstaff

I previously mentioned that sleep was definitely at a premium during my three nights in beautiful northern Arizona. However, I probably would have been a little more rested if there were more than four cabs in the entire city. Flagstaff is about the size of a large shopping mall, and there are hundreds of people leaving the bars on the ONE AND ONLY STREET DOWNTOWN after last call. You would think somebody might be able to “flag” a Flagstaff cab in less than an hour. Not so much. They barely even drove by, and the ones that did refused to stop. One black coach that was out with us pointed out that, “Now you know how I feel.” Even though I was drunk, I had about a million comebacks running through my head, but I kept quiet. I’ll get my ass kicked another time.

4. Breaking Up a Fight in the Final Seconds of the Last Game

Just kidding, that was awesome. I almost pulled a Van Gundy.

As you can see, it was a very productive weekend. I banked over two hundred dollars, made some new friends, and got a nickname that can officially be retired following my recent haircut. These next two years are going to be fun, regardless of whether or not I am named president of the Prescott P.T.A.

L Is For Love

On April 2^nd, 1990, I peaked as a sports fan. My hometown team, the UNLV Runnin Rebels, had just defeated hated Duke 103-73 to win the national championship. It was the largest margin ever in a NCAA Tournament Final, and we had an even better team coming back for the next season. Life was good.

Unfortunately, I was 15 months old, and I could have cared less.

Every time I hear about the Glory Days of UNLV basketball, it’s bittersweet. It’s one of those “If a tree falls down in a forest with nobody around, does it make a sound?” deals. I can watch all the documentaries and listen to all my parents’ stories about how much fun it was, but it doesn’t come close to actually being there. My first memories of the Runnin Rebels came a few years later when they were a middle-of-the-pack team in the Big West Conference. Needless to say, I can only imagine that watching Larry Johnson and Stacey Augmon light up a sold-out Thomas and Mack was a little different than witnessing a Sunshine Smith-led squad get worked by UNR.

Although it should obviously be expected, losing never gets easier for us die-hard fans. Each new season brings with it a sense of hope, and no matter if that hope runs out after ten games or in Game 7 of the NBA Finals, the sting remains. You still have to wake up the next morning knowing that your season is over, and once again the fans of another team will be experiencing the euphoria of a championship run instead of you.

When I first decided to write this article, I wanted to recap ten of the most heartbreaking sports losses of my life. However, it didn’t take me long to realize that this idea was faulty for two reasons. For one, as a Rebels, Chargers, and Padres fan, it would be way too difficult to narrow the numerous gut-wrenching losses I’ve witnessed to ten. Secondly, I believe that it would have been short-sighted of me to only acknowledge the tough defeats that I’ve dealt with. All sports fans have been punched in the stomach multiple times. For every Nick Jacobson, Brandon Heath, or Ali Farokhmanesh I can throw out there, millions of others can respond with a Laettner, Edney, or, if their from Lawrence, their own Farokhmanesh. For every Trevor Hoffman blown save that has caused me to pull out my hair, an A’s fan could shoot back with Gibson’s homer off Eckersley in the Series or the Jeter flip. Hell, the Pittsburgh Pirates have had 18 straight losing seasons!

The great (or terrible, depending on how you look at it) thing about sports is that besides Bruce Pearl sweating through his suits, there are no guarantees. The Padres aren’t going to win a World Series in the next fifty years just because I root really hard for them, but then again, neither are the Yankees. Dodgers fans, when not busy holding up liquor stores or picking out which wife beater they are going to wear to dinner, would be quick to point out that they haven’t won a championship in almost 23 seasons. Northwestern, a Big Ten school located just outside of Chicago, has never been to the NCAA Tournament in men’s basketball, but Butler has made it to two straight championship games. Everybody poops, and everybody loses.

Losing isn’t always a bad thing, either. A great deal of what made the 2004 Red Sox season so great for their fans was that it came on the heels of 86 years where they came up short. A Lakers fan couldn’t possibly have appreciated a victory in the 2011 Finals like the Mavericks fans did. That’s what keeps us fans of perennial losers coming back- the mere thought that one day our team can win it all, even though the odds are stacked against us.

The 1990 Rebels will always hold a place in my heart despite me having no recollection of them whatsoever. They are an example of both how good things can be for me as a sports fan and what I have missed out on for the past 21 years. One of my teams may never win it all again, but that’s not going to stop me from cheering. Because without sports, I’d be a lot more boring, and we’d have to change this to some sort of theatre blog. Trust me, that would suck.

Wimbledon Watch

By Morgan Payne

Wimbledon is the quintessential tournament in all of tennis, perhaps the entirety of sports. The history, the aura, the caliber of play makes it the ultimate in viewer pleasure. This year’s crop of talent and far reaching implications are sure to make the 2011 version one of the best in recent years. Here are this year’s favorites.

We are in a Golden Age of tennis with potentially the two greatest players of all time in our midst. At one end stands Roger Federer, the standard bearer of grace and poise for the past decade. On the other, the physically imposing, number one ranked Rafael Nadal, a 10-time Majors champion in his own right. The outright dominance of the two cannot be overstated. That is precisely why they have the best odds of hoisting the hardware at Centre Court this year.

Two paragraphs in and still no mention of the brash Serbian having one of the greatest starts to a season in history. That’s how talented this year’s field is. Novak Djokovic will look to redeem a semifinals loss to Federer in last month’s French Open. He is still as hot as anyone right now and anything other than a finals appearance will be a disappointment for him.

Nearly all prognosticators have two of the Big Three in the Finals and it will probably work out that way. But here are a few other names to look out for. These aren’t necessarily the guys with the best shot to advance deep into the tournament, it’s just a list of some interesting players that will entertain.

Andy Murray – I begrudgingly list the arrogant Scot first because he actually deserves it. (Damn, that sentence was tough to type). His lack of heart, icy relationship with the fans and overall malaise on the court are truly off-putting. (That’s more like it). Yet, Murray is most capable of knocking out one of the elite competitors en route to claiming his first major title. His defensive style is not as fun to watch as some of the other competitors, but it gets the job done. The most polarizing big name in the game will have the support of the crowd in just about every match he plays. The country is so desperate for a champion they will even root for a Scot who famously quipped he would root for “anyone but England” in the World Cup. And England is still behind him after that sacrilegious remark? Bollocks.

Richard Gasquet – A bit of personal bias here, but it is my list. My favorite player is on his redemption march after being suspended for a positive cocaine test in 2009. But he was reinstated after serving only two months of a two year ban. And how did he get off you ask? He told the International Tennis Federation that he kissed a girl in a club and that she must have been using cocaine earlier that night. That’s the oldest trick in the liar’s handbook and he got away with it. So, yeah, he’s pretty smooth. The 17 seed loves the tournament and actually has a relatively easy draw. With the best backhand in the business I fully expect him to make a deep run. His effortless style and shot making ability should aid in that run while simultaneously winning over more fans. Don’t put a championship past him either. He can do anything.

Gael Monfils – Wow, this guy is fun to watch. More NFL receiver than tennis pro, Monfils possesses un-paralleled athleticism and a panache that would make Ochocinco blush. His motor simply does not stop, and neither does his array of imaginative shots. If he starts to get things rolling and advances into the second week, watch out. I certainly wouldn’t mind watching him knock off a few favorites.

Jo-Wilfried Tsonga – If Monfils is a receiver than his countryman Tsonga is a linebacker. He is a beast in every sense of the word. Perhaps the most physically intimidating hulk in the sport, he backs up his 140 mph serves with a surprisingly fluid style. Tennis buffs expected more from him after his incredible run to the 2008 Australian Open, but he has never been able to duplicate that brilliance. Hopefully, his recent solid play is an indicator of success in this tournament.

Mardy Fish – It’s kind of sad when a guy named Mardy Fish may be America’s best hope. That’s the tennis landscape we now find ourselves in as Andy Roddick, the perpetual underachiever, looks to be on the tail-end of a disappointing career. Okay, so maybe that’s a bit harsh, but let’s face it, an American is not going to win.

Ivo Karlovic – He may not be in the tournament long, but if you get a chance, watch one of his matches. His 6’10” frame is able to serve a tennis ball faster than any human being. Ever. He routinely hits 150 mph and must be one of the scariest players to face. All those aces sure are fun to watch.

John Isner/Nicolas Mahut – Probably the most talked about first round matchup ever. The two actually cancelled a practice match scheduled before the draw was announced. Looks like they are preparing for another days (yes that is “days”, like plural) long battle. Of course it won’t happen and one of them will probably win a three-set snooze-fest because that’s just how sports works. At least their pairing gives ESPN an excuse to show replays of last year’s truly epic dogfight.

Nikolay Davydenko – Beware the betting lines.

Whichever of the 128 all-white-clad gentlemen wins it all, entertainment is bound to ensue. For the next two weeks we have the opportunity to witness an all-time great nearing the end of an illustrious career, his rival at the height of his prime, a youngster at the start of his and a swarm of other captivating players hungry to make history of their own. It’s not too often one tennis tournament plays host to so much intrigue, so enjoy.

Give college football a chance

By Tyler Wilson

There is just something about college football that draws me in. It's a combination of the traditions, the collegiate atmosphere, the student sections and the bands that gets me going. The rivalries, the alumni, just everything about it turns me on. It's better than the NFL, in every way but talent. But that's what is so amazing about college football. Yes there are kids like Terrelle Pryor who take what they aren't supposed to, but about 90 percent of the kids playing college football don't get drafted and go on to real life jobs. It's this 90 percent that makes it all worth it for me. I know, college football is in an extremely negative state right now because of all the scandals and the NCAA's inability to control them. And even though there are probably many more corrupt players out there than anyone thinks, I still love it because the majority of the players play for the love of the game, not for money or fame.

And even though the talent level is obviously not up to par with the NFL, I love the excitement it provides. I don't care about the quality of the play. I'm not a coach, It's not my job to critique good quality football. More so, if college football wasn't exciting, would it be as popular as it is today? No, it would not. Comparing college football with the NFL is like comparing Tommy Boy to Monty Python movies. Tommy Boy is a great comedy. It may not be as sophisticated and the jokes may not be as good as in Monty Python movies, but it is still entertaining nonetheless.

And it's also different than the NFL. One can argue between the different atmospheres of the two. Honestly, one isn't better than the other. They are just completely different. Student sections, bands and alumni versus fanatics and diehard fans. Both have different tailgating atmospheres, but neither one is better. I honestly prefer tailgating in a collegiate atmosphere, where students have food booths set up all over campus and alumni come back, not just to root for their football team, but to support the alma mater that gave them the foundation for what they currently know as their life.

I know, the BCS sucks and the bowl system is just a way to make money. I know, I know, I know. Yes, I want to get rid of the BCS and go to a playoff system. But it does provide a lot of unnecessary narratives on college football, which I like to listen to. That may make no sense to NFL lovers, but I don't care. I love college football. I don't love the BCS, but it does put the limelight on college football because of the controversy. And even though it's a negative limelight, it means more college football to watch and listen to.

Yes, the NFL has better talent and a better playoff system, and I do realize that all NFL atmospheres are not like the Chargers', where obnoxious fans are wearing halloween costumes to the games and getting drunk (I actually witnessed this at a Chargers game). And there are obviously some college football fans like this too. But, I don't care. I'm not trying to win you over to college football, I'm just stating why I like the it better than the NFL. Maybe it's the fact that I grew up in San Antonio, where there is no football team, and maybe it's the fact that I grew up a diehard Notre Dame fan. Nonetheless, I like it better.

College football may be the only football this fall for at least a little bit, so for all those NFL lovers and college football haters out there, please give college football a chance. Even if you hate it, at least try to see why some people love it.

The Boys of Summer

      When Joey asked me if I wanted to take my sports writing talents to SportsguyWannabes, my initial reaction was; “Hell Yes”.  I love sports.  I love talking about sports.  I love listening to people who talk about sports.  How hard could it be? After reading the first week of blogposts I realize we have a legitimate big four: Shoen, Hanneke, Payne, and Wilson.  If those guys are the Kobe, Lebron, Wade, and Rose of the blog; I’m Brian Cardinal.  I’m that guy you throw in with a minute left in the second quarter so Dirk doesn’t get his third foul before halftime, but so what.  The real question is: Who doesn’t love Brian Cardinal!?  So I’ll cover some little random stuff and leave the big issues to them.  I hope each and every one of you enjoy the website.

 

Would this guy take a punch for me?

 

     Most avid sports fans dread the long months of summer right after the NBA and NHL.  The excitement of the playoff season results in sports euphoria for everyone.  However, most sports fans will say the summer months following the playoffs tend to leave us less satisfied than Jenna Jameson after a date with Mr. Chao. I feel the exact opposite; I love summer.  What is it about a Padres single in a meaningless midsummer game that makes me go crazier than this Jonah Hill look-a-like?  I spend countless hours every summer sitting in a half filled ballpark (that’s a generous estimate, it’s more like a quarter filled) cracking peanuts, wolfing down hot dogs like Kobayashi, and drinking more beer than John Belushi in Animal House.  I know most of you readers are thinking “yeah, yeah, we pig out when we go to the ballpark too buddy,” but the hours that I spend with friends pigging out at the ballpark and having fun, don’t compare to the amount of time I put in watching the games as alone as Tom Hanks in Castaway.  And I love it.

     I don’t really know how or why I started to love baseball.  My first baseball experience happened when I was six years old.  In my first tee ball game I crushed the ball a whopping five feet, and when everyone yelled at me to run I sprinted straight out to left field, and stood there more confused than Jose Canseco after this littleincident.  Needless to say it wasn’t the game for me.  So I went through my childhood in a town that looked something like this, avoiding baseball at costs.  I couldn’t understand it.  Why would someone ever watch something so slow and monotonous?  How could the games mean anything?  There were 162 of them for God’s Sake!  However, as I got older and started to appreciate the finer things in life, like a bottle of wild turkey and a nice set of legs, baseball started to draw me in.  It wasn’t fast and it wasn’t glamorous, but slowly and surely I started to understand just a little bit of why baseball has captured America’s heart for the past 125 years.

     I started going to Padres games when I was a freshman in college at the University of San Diego.  My freshman roommate wanted to spend every Friday night at a Padres game instead of getting drunk and chasing chicks.  At first, I didn’t understand it.  I quickly learned that college girls have a tendency stay up a little later than 10:30 (when the games got over), so they weren’t exactly conflicting interests.  I jumped on the bandwagon and started going to as many games as possible.  The padres did well that season, but lost in an extra innings one game playoff to an unbelievable Colorado Rockies team that finished the year 23 for their last 24 games.  I didn’t care.  It was just baseball to me, and to be honest there were a lot bigger things out there.  Sophomore summer that all changed.

     I decided there was no way I was going to spend another summer in my hometown of Las Cruces, New Mexico.  So I decided I had to find a summer internship.  After a little bit of work, I was able to get hired on in San Diego, and along came the summer that changed my life.  The summer of 69’, was what my best friends and I commonly refer to that summer as, because it had everything.  It had late night binge drinking, countless summer flings (alright maybe not countless), and barbecues galore, but the constant throughout the summer was Padres homestands.  We would salivate like a dog in heat for the next time the Pads would come into town.  I probably only saw four wins that summer.  In the famous words of GhostfaceKilla the Padres “made lambs look dangerous,” but it didn’t matter.  I had the Padres, and the Padres had me.

     My junior year something interesting happened.  The San Diego Padres were the best team in baseball.  It made no sense.  The second smallest payroll in the whole league and these guys refused to lose. Buster Olney himself couldn’t tell us how it was happening.  If Lebron James’s Harry Houdini disappearing act is the biggest mystery in sports today, then the Padres 2010 season is a close second.  We couldn’t lose.  We were 20 games over five hundred half way through the season, and it couldn’t be real.  I started pinching myself every day just to make sure it wasn’t some sick twisted dream.  Is this what heaven feels like?  That’s the thing about baseball it permeates your everyday life like no other sport.  So what if I hated my job or just spent an entire day with a hangover that David Hasselhoff would be proud of?  I knew that come 7:05 I would be joined by nine adopted family members, and everything would be ok.  That’s the thing about baseball that makes it so amazing; it’s always there.  Sometimes you need it and sometimes you don’t, but it’s always there waiting for you with open arms.  It was obvious that the Padres were going to make things difficult after a 10 game losing streak. When Mat Latos gave up three fatal runs to the Giants in the last game of the year to lose the division I thought I was going to break down.  I thought I was going turn away from baseball.  Why would I inflict so much pain on myself for something that was ultimately meaningless? 

     A very wise man once told me “Why do you get so worked up.  It’s not like Miguel Tejada would take a punch for you or anything.  He doesn’t give a shit.”  I know he’s right.  Miguel Tejada doesn’t give a shit.  Miguel Tejada doesn’t care about me, but every time I needed him he was there for me.  He was out there on the diamond doing his best to help me get over that fight with my girlfriend or drown out the bitching voice of my boss.  The 2010 San Diego Padres were there for me day in and day out for 180 days, and I’ll never forget that.

     So now in 2011 as we are mired in mediocrity (which is a generous adjective) and 10 games under .500, you’ll still find me at the ballpark every home stand.  Day in and day out the Padres were, are, and always will be there for me.  Sometimes I like to think they need me as much as I need them.